Of MILF and Men : The Sexy Mom Phenomenon

...All of which leaves us a little conflicted about the movement. We, like many modern women, are trapped between two fears: that having kids will make us unsexy, and that trying to stay sexy will make us ridiculous. Our inner feminist tells us that MILFdom is not a solution but rather a self-destructive form of female-chauvinist piggery, to borrow Ariel Levy’s term: Are today’s mothers really so afraid of seeming past their prime that they accept objectification as a compliment?



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I guess I'm a little of two minds on the subject. I think it's great that women today are considered attractive and sexy at older ages, and even with kids. (Of course, I'd also hate to think that my romantic life would be a complete thing of the past as of this September, so I might be a bit biased.) It's empowering, for lack of a better word, and it's good for the women themselves in the sense that there IS life after baby. However, at some point this attraction went from considering these women still sexy and desirable to making them into sex objects. You can see this in the movie that's considered to be the turning point in the MILF phenomenon - American Pie - when the MILF of the movie, Stifler's mom, is never even given a name. She is simply "Stifler's mom", and is otherwise referred to as "MILF". I'm aware that it's funny and maybe I'm being a little uptight over it, but it also is kind of a problem, isn't it? This woman is such an object that she doesn't even have a name.

The problem with our society is that we always take things to an extreme. First, we have the attractive single mother. Partially this is caused by an increase in single mothers, and perhaps the fact that many women have children at a young age is a factor as well. It also helps that many women are using health and beauty products, exercises, and even surgeries to look younger than they actually are. It also has to do, I think, with single mothers being more accepted by society. We no longer look at them as criminals, but as capable, independent women, and as such, they don't have to hide like lepers anymore and can even *gasp* date. In addition, capable, independent women are hot. There's just something about a self-sufficient woman that's sexy. But at some point we get so caught up in the idea that moms can be hot too, and we take it to an extreme, turning it into sexual objectification, the polar opposite of the problem that single mothers USED to have, but just as bad of a problem. Some people even consider these women to be sluttier than a young, single, childless woman who really isn't any less sexually active. One male friend of mine states, "Well, you know she puts out," and then guffaws at his own crude wit (I guess because nobody else found that incredibly amusing). Women who walk around wearing MILF T-shirts (yes, that means you, Ms. Spears) don't help matters, either.

Perhaps the solution for a woman who doesn't really know if she should embrace the MILF stereotype (it's saying something good about her - that she's still attractive - right?) is: don't. Be attractive. Be sexy. But don't think of yourself in that way and don't allow yourself to fall into that stereotype, emulating Stifler's mom. And if a man ever, EVER refers to you as a MILF, read him the riot act and for the love of god, don't sleep with him.